Carrer VS Passion

Like any other day going to work in the office but for some reason I feel different since I begun to teach yoga on the side 4 years ago. Wake up 5 am in the morning, getting ready to teach my morning yoga class, doing my thing, exploring my creative ,express and share through it, greeting my students excitedly , big smile and inspired, asking each of them how they body’s feeling, if there is any yoga pose that they would like to work on, or yoga pose that feels good, they become lovingly automatic intention to tailor my class accordingly. Warming up the body, Sun salutation A, Sun salutation B, core strengthening , arms and legs balance, spine strengthening and finally our favorite pose Savasana :) , quite often opt for seated meditation instead, practicing to become and an observer and witness of our own thoughts rather then getting involved in them, practicing to allow our thoughts to come and go as they please without labelling, without judgement, in the same time , we are allowing cosmic energy flowing through our body. Finally, we are sealing our practice by sending love and gratitude to our body, mind and spirit, follow with affirmation , each day or each week affirmation could be different, such as Saucha, Saucha means cleanliness “ may I be pure in my body, heart and mind, free of ill, will, or agendas of any kinds, with every facet of my being clean and clear, radiating light , fully present and aware. With my much love and gratitude , bowing forward sealing our practice together ,Namaste.

Walk out of the door of yoga studio after teaching class I feel rejuvenated, feeling so good , feeling inspired even though I’m about to do my nine to five job I couldn’t help it but smile, inspired to enjoy and do my best for the rest of the day. Park my car in level 1 , a parking lot where the executives park, there are 2 extra parking spots open to anyone, when it is available, I just park there, create my own reality that I am VIP too, in some extent I am. Parked my car, I saw one of the executive just parked his car too, “ did you teach this morning ?” He asked, Yes, I did, 2 ! I replied, “How are you”, He asked again while we are walking toward the elevator, “ amazing !, perfect and delicious” I replied, ‘Why is that ?” He asked again, “ everything is balance and well organized” I replied. Just the 2 of us inside the elevator, silent. Level 2 , and elevator door is open, wish each other a good day, we walk in a separate direction.

Sit on my desk, turning on my computer, it takes one or two minutes for logging in to appear, sometimes, I just stare at a little circle on the computer , sometimes I go to the kitchen making my lemon mixed with mints tea and honey, go back to my desk. Open all the applications I need to start my work such as e-mail, 3 AS 400 screens and other applications to support my work. First would be checking my e-mails and hoping that all just easy and simple inquiries so I can reply them quickly, and nobody is angry for any reasons. Checking on the voice mails with the same hope as the e-mails. Easy e-mail would be changing address, changing bank info, changing name on the account, rather than, getting angry because they haven’t received their royalty checks because of the delay by the post office or didn’t get included on the payment report. When that happens, clients, either get angry or they understand. To those angry people , sometimes I get sucked into their energy , sometimes I understand and take care of them calmly.

Teaching yoga , I don’t feel like working at all, even though I wake up early in the morning, spend my energy and hold space for the entire hour. One day, Mark, the owner of Westside Print who allow us, students and teachers to park in his lot for certain hours was seeing me carry my yoga mat and ready to teach “ are you going to work ?” He asked “ oh, Hi Mark ! I greeting him confusedly, I’m about to teach, I said. “ yeah, that’s what I mean, He said. “ Teaching is not working for me Mark, I responded with big smile.

Since I begin to have a courage to practice boundaries at nine to five job, finally, my work is flowing and up to date, when I go home, I feel good because all the e-mails and calls are answered, my tasks are manageable and well maintained , nothing to think about, my yoga classes are powerful but yet beautiful and delicious, I feel successful. I begin to enjoy every single day, including Monday ! yes ! including Monday! believe it or not. In such state, I’m able to explore different talent, my new baby talent is writing. 2017, I heard a voice “ share your story “ , “share your story”, “ share your story”, I was teaching like nuts in 2017 ! but the voice is getting louder and louder, in November 2017 I started to write. 2nd week of November, I received an e-mail from a publisher, looking for co-author , sharing a real life story of yoga and meditation, “Resilience through yoga practice and meditation”. I submitted my story in 4 hours, around 6 pages, I tried to write more but that was all and published in August. As I observed this new experience, I begin to see possibility clearly, I am excited and looking forward for my own solo book to be published.

In a junction of possibilities and new hope for exploring my creativities and services, I surrender to the Universe, Source, God, etc where all of this taking me, I am no longer as scared as before losing my nine to five job but in the same time, I have no idea where these new talents of teaching yoga and writing books will taking me either.

I am open to any possibilities ,as I am here learning to become a creator, continue growing and evolving, enjoy and appreciate life experience as they are, cultivating awareness , increasing my consciousness, energy , frequency and vibration in love and compassion.

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F.O.M.O

"Omg !! What is happening ?!!"

I didn't know what I was thinking, afraid of missing out ?! 

Fresh of boat, petite and cute, just get divorced, single and ready to mingle, miss independent curious about what was out there and life in general. Hung out , happy hour, bowling, karaoke, clubbing, strip clubs and networking. Yeah..  I meet a few people, a few man , a few party promoters and couple bouncers but for some reasons, they didn't mean anything at all. I didn't know what I was really looking for or maybe I didn't look for anything at that point or maybe just simply looking for experiences. Went out after work from Thursday until Saturday, I love to dance and I love music, I enjoyed clubbing very much, I thought I was born in the disco. Sexiest dress, highest heels, confidently walking approaching the bouncers like I had a reservation bottle service, with small talked , me and my Indo friend got in, as soon as I walked in greeted by the disco lights and music, I thought I was in heaven plus a small shot of grey goose, a little lick on the salt and sucking on the lemon,  danced all night , wow ! I thought I was in Nirvana.

My e-mails were quite full of invitations from party promoters notifying me with various events and parties, specially in Halloween. A few halloween costumes I remembered were : french maid, a belly dancer, a cop outfit ( of course guys volunteered to get arrested lol ) when I didn't feel like buying anything , then a school girl outfit would do it danced all night until my feet screaming on those high heels, went home super tired, felt blah in the morning. Sometimes, woke up in somebody else room, awkward , or sometimes, woke in my best's friend's couch. I thought , this was a lifestyle. I remembered when My Indo friend and I went to a party, was all women, it was held in a house and in a day time. I was like " what kind of party is this ?" I said to my self. It turned out was sex toys party, the host invited a lady from a sex store to show us different kind of toys and other things that I was not familiar at all, eatable oils, powder and other accessories that I couldn’t imagine to be put on my body while having sex, a G spot locator, I was like "huh ?". Yes, I bought it, a G spot locator just because I felt sorry for the lady if I didn't buy anything, I didn't even use it, I couldn't even imagine sticking that thing in, nah...

Until I found yoga and practice every damn day when I slowly no longer interested in going out and drinking, I remembered practice hot yoga  after party and a little bit hungover,  I couldn't breath, my practice was awful, I didn't feel good at all, from that moment , I don't like hard liquor anymore. By practicing yoga, my body was cleansed , my body becomes sensitive to alcohol and junk food. And magically , I was able to ignore " booty calls" text for good ! I begin to feel happy and content for no reason, clubbing, alcohol and sex are no longer in my daily routine. My happy hour after work was practice hot yoga, and often times back to back, 2 hours of yoga ! from there,  I begun to chill and enjoy my own company, all party people one by one disappeared. Then, I had opportunity to teach yoga, my happy hours before and after work is teaching yoga. my routine is now completely changed, every morning wake up 4:30 am, practice some asanas, meditate and getting ready to teach yoga and go to work after, twice a week I teach in the evenings too, go home, meditate some more if I feel like it or simply relax, reading a book, watch Gaia and checking Facebook for a little bit, and lastly go to bed. Sounded boring, but for some reason this is the best life experience I've ever had, my energy is high, manifestation is pretty quick, I feel calm, I'm relaxed, I am content but yet I feel abundant in so many things, my creativity and money are flowing and expressed, Delicious ! I am no longer FOMO.

So much love and Gratitude , Namaste..

 

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